So you want to talk about… male sex toys

banana innuendo sex toy image
Because they deserve me-time too.

It’s fair to say that most females own some form of pleasure device and many are open about talking to their friends about it. However, for males, owning a sex toy might seem more taboo, more commonly taboo with heterosexual males we might add.

However, humans are creative ones and so, since pretty much the dawn of time, we have been finding interesting ways to have that ever-important ‘me time’ (anyone remember that humiliating American Pie apple pie scene) and this includes males.  Humans have been crafting pleasure toys from whatever they could get their hands on. So, how did males get some?

A brief history of male sex toys

When Burmese Balls or Chinese Ben Wa Balls (small metal balls used to strengthen the pelvic floor) were created, men would insert them into their penis to increase pleasure.

According to askmen, in Ancient Greece, stale bread would not only be used as a side to a feta salad, but it would double up as a trusty dildo. Flavour it with some olive oil for lube and you’ve got yourself dinner finished off with a treat. Bread dildos were used by women and men, plus they were biodegradable – how woke of them!

Some 2,000 years ago, a jade and bronze butt plug was discovered in the tomb of a king near modern-day Shanghai. According to researchers, Chinese aristocrats enjoyed using these and bronze strap-ons. However, some people believe butt plugs were used to close orifices of the dead, so it isn’t certain if they were used for sexual pleasure.

Then, soon into the 17th century, seamen began experimenting with sex dolls or what they called dames de voyage. They would often fashion cloth into dolls to be used while they were at sea.

Fast-forward to the 20th century and sex dolls were being mass-produced and used by many. Rumour has it that Hitler even charged one of his SS commanders to design sex dolls for German soldiers during World War Two, to prevent them from getting it on with non-Aryan females.

In the USA, sex dolls weren’t advertised in porn magazines until roughly 1968, when it became legal to sell sexual devices through the mail.
While men have been seeking pleasure in creative ways for years, they have had seemingly less purchasable options compared to women, up until recently (bar the artificial vagina).

Okay so now we’ve established the history, what ways can males get their stimulation? Males do have a variety of options which include; the artificial vagina, the fleshlight (similar to the artificial vagina but can be shaped into a vulva, anus or mouth orifice), or a prostate massage which centres around stimulation close to the bum (can be stimulated with a finger or a device).

That’s all well and good I hear you cry, but where do we go from here? Fear not, you will be answered. Read on to find out more about the best sex toys for men.

The best male sex toys

Mangasm Lifetime Silicone Stroker

A version of the fleshlight, GQ says that this toy feels like the inside of a vagina more than any other masturbation sleeve on the market. The designers used a 3D scan from the winner of the world’s most beautiful vagina contest (yep, it’s actually a thing).

Lovehoney O Force Hands-free Masturbator

“Give your wrist a break” Men’s Health says with this powerful hands-free device. Formed of a shallow canal, it stimulates the penis with your pick of five high-voltage settings. Use it in the shower or the bath too as this baby is waterproof.

Source: LoveHoney

Clandestine Mimic Black OS

This mini spaceship can be utilised anywhere. The ergonomic shape is designed to fit perfectly in any hand and where you place it is your choice!

Tenga Egg

Probably one of the more affordable ones if you’re on our kind of budget but Men’s Health says this one isn’t going to rock your socks off. To make matters worse, this little guy can only be used once so those trying to stay green while they masturbate should probably stay away. GQ also voices a  pretty similar opinion but adds that it’s pretty useful for switching things up when your usual way becomes tiring.

Source: Tenga

We-Vibe Vector

This is a prostate stimulator on steroids, says Men’s Health. Functioning with dual motors that buzz both the prostate part and the perineum part. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, this pleasure product comes with an app that can be controlled from anywhere in the world.

Fun Factory Duke Rechargeable Vibrating Prostate Massager

According to GQ this isn’t a massager for beginners. It has three separate components that stimulate various highly-sensitive erogenous zones. The first part can extend deep into the prostate while the second nuzzles against it.

There are many more adult sex toys out there that males can use for their pleasure. Of course, The Lowdown team would love to hear your reviews of male sex toys. Have you tried them out? Perhaps alone or with a partner? However good or bad the experience was, we would love to hear.

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